Comments on: Why Demonizing Food Often Defeats Us http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/ Joyful Minds and Happy Bodies Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:03:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-40 Michelle Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:59:06 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-40 hello can you please moderate? hello can you please moderate?

]]> By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-38 Michelle Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:36:31 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-38 Hi Debbie, Thanks for your comment. I will post information about that in the near future. In the meantime, when you hear yourself saying I "shouldn't" do X, ask yourself "who" is mandating that to you, and whether it is truly valid. Hi Debbie,

Thanks for your comment. I will post information about that in the near future. In the meantime, when you hear yourself saying I “shouldn’t” do X, ask yourself “who” is mandating that to you, and whether it is truly valid.

]]> By: Debbie Michalak http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-37 Debbie Michalak Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:04:34 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-37 Thanks for the great information. I'm looking forward to the future blog with information to help me avoid demonizing food. I need to move beyond living in a world of "should" and "shouldn't"! Thanks for the great information. I’m looking forward to the future blog with information to help me avoid demonizing food. I need to move beyond living in a world of “should” and “shouldn’t”!

]]> By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-27 Michelle Sun, 19 Oct 2008 12:55:14 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-27 Kris, thanks for following up on my comment back to you, and letting me know about the main population studied for this research. We do need less shoulds! The question is, how can an individual woman free herself from shoulds by reframing things as authentic wants? Keep your great comments coming! Michelle Kris,

thanks for following up on my comment back to you, and letting me know about the main population studied for this research. We do need less shoulds! The question is, how can an individual woman free herself from shoulds by reframing things as authentic wants? Keep your great comments coming!

Michelle

]]> By: Kris http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-26 Kris Fri, 17 Oct 2008 16:26:17 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-26 Hey Michelle, Excellent points, as always. The research I've done on self-discrepancies concerns adolescents, but you're right, most of the rest of that body of work is on college students. I've often wondered what happens to "ought" discrepancies with development through the lifecourse. I believe that we internalize these oughts (or reject them), thereby turning them into personal ideals (or not). With age I think many of us try to meet personal ideals internalized from oughts in youth, while growing increasingly resentful of life's new oughts, as we attempt to simply get through the day's demands (work, relationships, kids). We want to rebel against those oughts! Your own research on adherence to exercise programs seems to suggest that this may be happening. If you frame exercise as something people should do because it's good for them, they're probably less likely to stick to it than if you introduce them to the fun of it. Who, after the age of 35, needs more SHOULDS in her life? We need fun, darn it, ways to nurture ourselves and decompress. Okay, now I digress but as usual, your posts are so thoughtful that they lead to this kind of what-if mental meandering... :-) Hey Michelle,

Excellent points, as always. The research I’ve done on self-discrepancies concerns adolescents, but you’re right, most of the rest of that body of work is on college students. I’ve often wondered what happens to “ought” discrepancies with development through the lifecourse. I believe that we internalize these oughts (or reject them), thereby turning them into personal ideals (or not). With age I think many of us try to meet personal ideals internalized from oughts in youth, while growing increasingly resentful of life’s new oughts, as we attempt to simply get through the day’s demands (work, relationships, kids). We want to rebel against those oughts! Your own research on adherence to exercise programs seems to suggest that this may be happening. If you frame exercise as something people should do because it’s good for them, they’re probably less likely to stick to it than if you introduce them to the fun of it. Who, after the age of 35, needs more SHOULDS in her life? We need fun, darn it, ways to nurture ourselves and decompress. Okay, now I digress but as usual, your posts are so thoughtful that they lead to this kind of what-if mental meandering… :-)

]]> By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-25 Michelle Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:55:48 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-25 I love your theoretical response to my theoretical blog post! I'm not sure about it, but I'd bet that the research on "ought discrepancies" predicting anorexia are in college-aged women. (Is this E. Tory Higgins’ research?) Although some of the health behavior theory that I love has been studied on college students, I'm not sure how much of the psychological research and theory building done on college-aged students can be generalized to people of different ages and/or other different groups. College women have very different pressures on them, life pressures, and goals then women in midlife, which is why research, especially related to eating, weight, etc. might have very different outcomes in females at different life stages. I'm guessing that the research you referenced might belong in that category...Let me know if I'm wrong please. Regarding your own experience with the chocolate, I think that "requiring" yourself to eat something like that could be a great strategy. (Clearly it works for you.)Also, having dark chocolate instead of super sweet chocolate is also a great idea! I'm going to add it to my list of suggestions! Thank you. Michelle I love your theoretical response to my theoretical blog post! I’m not sure about it, but I’d bet that the research on “ought discrepancies” predicting anorexia are in college-aged women. (Is this E. Tory Higgins’ research?) Although some of the health behavior theory that I love has been studied on college students, I’m not sure how much of the psychological research and theory building done on college-aged students can be generalized to people of different ages and/or other different groups. College women have very different pressures on them, life pressures, and goals then women in midlife, which is why research, especially related to eating, weight, etc. might have very different outcomes in females at different life stages. I’m guessing that the research you referenced might belong in that category…Let me know if I’m wrong please. Regarding your own experience with the chocolate, I think that “requiring” yourself to eat something like that could be a great strategy. (Clearly it works for you.)Also, having dark chocolate instead of super sweet chocolate is also a great idea! I’m going to add it to my list of suggestions! Thank you.
Michelle

]]> By: Kris http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-22 Kris Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:16:32 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-22 Hey Michelle! Love this post! I especially like the part about introjected regulation. It seems at odds with predictions of self-discrepancy theory, which holds that when "ought" discrepancies (inconsistencies between the actual self and the self one "ought" to be) are activated, people feel anxious, and anxiety is usually dealt with by food avoidance (hence research findings showing that ought discrepancies predict anorexia). HOWEVER, your description and predictions fit with my personal experience much better. I'd add a final process: once the "should" has been violated, the "law" has been broken. If stealing a pound of rice is just as bad as stealing a grain, then hell, if we've ALREADY stolen a grain, let's fill up the sack! Author Helen Fielding has Bridget Jones say in one of her diary books, following a huge binge, that she ate the last bits of junk food "as if to draw a line under the whole sorry episode." When I personally start thinking of specific foods as "legal" and "illegal," then when I've had one of the illegal foods, I try to "get it out of my system" by consuming them until I'm sick and vowing to start a fresh, law-abiding life the following day. You can see where that goes, of course. :-) If, in contrast, I make "bad" foods a required part of my daily diet, I tend to eat in a much more balanced fashion. Lately I've been "requiring" myself to eat a small dark chocolate bar every evening after dinner. I keep them in the freezer. Dark chocolate isn't ordinarily something I'd binge on; it's too bitter. But I like the flavor of it in small amounts, so it makes a good daily treat. If I know I'm going to have it, I'm less likely to raid the pastry display that somehow always makes its way, courtesy of the diabetic associate head of my department, to the mail room of my department. :-P Hey Michelle! Love this post! I especially like the part about introjected regulation. It seems at odds with predictions of self-discrepancy theory, which holds that when “ought” discrepancies (inconsistencies between the actual self and the self one “ought” to be) are activated, people feel anxious, and anxiety is usually dealt with by food avoidance (hence research findings showing that ought discrepancies predict anorexia). HOWEVER, your description and predictions fit with my personal experience much better. I’d add a final process: once the “should” has been violated, the “law” has been broken. If stealing a pound of rice is just as bad as stealing a grain, then hell, if we’ve ALREADY stolen a grain, let’s fill up the sack! Author Helen Fielding has Bridget Jones say in one of her diary books, following a huge binge, that she ate the last bits of junk food “as if to draw a line under the whole sorry episode.” When I personally start thinking of specific foods as “legal” and “illegal,” then when I’ve had one of the illegal foods, I try to “get it out of my system” by consuming them until I’m sick and vowing to start a fresh, law-abiding life the following day. You can see where that goes, of course. :-) If, in contrast, I make “bad” foods a required part of my daily diet, I tend to eat in a much more balanced fashion. Lately I’ve been “requiring” myself to eat a small dark chocolate bar every evening after dinner. I keep them in the freezer. Dark chocolate isn’t ordinarily something I’d binge on; it’s too bitter. But I like the flavor of it in small amounts, so it makes a good daily treat. If I know I’m going to have it, I’m less likely to raid the pastry display that somehow always makes its way, courtesy of the diabetic associate head of my department, to the mail room of my department. :-P

]]> By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-21 Michelle Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:37:18 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-21 Hi Elaine, Thanks for your comment! Many people talk about eating their children's leftovers. If that's really easy for you to do, you could just make your meals officially out of their leftovers, if there is consistently enough for that. Or make a rule for yourself that you either toss out leftovers that won't otherwise get eaten or put it in back in the refrigerator. But the garbage can metaphor could be helpful too! Michelle Hi Elaine,

Thanks for your comment!

Many people talk about eating their children’s leftovers. If that’s really easy for you to do, you could just make your meals officially out of their leftovers, if there is consistently enough for that. Or make a rule for yourself that you either toss out leftovers that won’t otherwise get eaten or put it in back in the refrigerator. But the garbage can metaphor could be helpful too!
Michelle

]]> By: Elaine http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-20 Elaine Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:12:00 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-20 Michelle, Great post! I was particularly interested in your explanation of Introjected Regulation, and find it fascinating that because a belief isn't "owned", it is harder to follow. I look forward to learning ways to overcome that, as I believe that's my problem in a nutshell. Also, your #3 response to Mickey above is right on target - with toddlers, it becomes a very easy habit to eat their leftovers, of which there are plenty, every day - love the thought of essentially making yourself a garbage can. A great way to look at it and stop the behavior! Michelle,

Great post! I was particularly interested in your explanation of Introjected Regulation, and find it fascinating that because a belief isn’t “owned”, it is harder to follow. I look forward to learning ways to overcome that, as I believe that’s my problem in a nutshell.

Also, your #3 response to Mickey above is right on target - with toddlers, it becomes a very easy habit to eat their leftovers, of which there are plenty, every day - love the thought of essentially making yourself a garbage can. A great way to look at it and stop the behavior!

]]> By: Michelle http://www.essentialsteps.net/2008/10/why-demonizing-food-often-defeats-us/#comment-19 Michelle Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:51:17 +0000 http://www.essentialsteps.net/?p=325#comment-19 Hi Mickey, Thank you for your comment. The situation you mentioned is really common. Having a brownie and feeling good about that is important. Of course we should eat food we like! But, clearly having a bunch of food around that presents on going challenges is not very helpful. I think there are many different things you can do. 1) Freeze the food in one-size portions. If the brownie is too big (or cookie) break it in half or thirds to make a more appropriate size. [Having it in the house, even in the freezer might not work for many though. Including me.] 2) My favorite, give it away to others who will enjoy it. I love to eat cookies, but don't want them as a staple in my house. So, when we have been given some, have a party, etc., I'll give them to the guests and/or my husband to take in to work. 3) Tossing extra food is also a good idea. People might say, but with the hunger in the world, throwing away food is shameful. I don't necessarily agree. If you eat food you don't really want or need then in essence you are making your body a garbage can. So, if you have these Introjected beliefs "I shouldn't toss food", you can recognize them and decide they come from an earlier time when having too much food was not the problem. 4) Make less food. Grandmothers love to shower their kids and grandkids with food. (A wonderful thing) But, maybe make less, just so there is enough to enjoy but not enough for leftovers. (It might help teach your grandkids about better portion sizes too.) I'd love to hear ideas from other readers about ways to handle this situation! Michelle Hi Mickey,

Thank you for your comment. The situation you mentioned is really common. Having a brownie and feeling good about that is important. Of course we should eat food we like! But, clearly having a bunch of food around that presents on going challenges is not very helpful. I think there are many different things you can do.

1) Freeze the food in one-size portions. If the brownie is too big (or cookie) break it in half or thirds to make a more appropriate size. [Having it in the house, even in the freezer might not work for many though. Including me.]

2) My favorite, give it away to others who will enjoy it. I love to eat cookies, but don’t want them as a staple in my house. So, when we have been given some, have a party, etc., I’ll give them to the guests and/or my husband to take in to work.

3) Tossing extra food is also a good idea. People might say, but with the hunger in the world, throwing away food is shameful. I don’t necessarily agree. If you eat food you don’t really want or need then in essence you are making your body a garbage can. So, if you have these Introjected beliefs “I shouldn’t toss food”, you can recognize them and decide they come from an earlier time when having too much food was not the problem.

4) Make less food. Grandmothers love to shower their kids and grandkids with food. (A wonderful thing) But, maybe make less, just so there is enough to enjoy but not enough for leftovers. (It might help teach your grandkids about better portion sizes too.)

I’d love to hear ideas from other readers about ways to handle this situation!

Michelle

]]>